I liked your story because you used descriptive words to describe the hat, but i think you should let people to try to infer what is going on in the text so they can understand better. But it was very
I liked your story but I think you need to check it again and edit some of the words. But it was a good story. 🙂
well done I thought it was a very good but,I think you should proof read before you finish because I saw some misspelled words. Other than that it was really good
I thought you did a very good job on your story it was very descriptive and very well written, but it was a bit of a sudden ending as it jumped to 33 years later.
I was walking home last night I saw a giant glossy black shape in the dark beside me. I was a bit startled and as I needed to get home in a hurry I didn’t stop to investigate.
That night I couldn’t stop wondering about what I had seen, and so the next morning I went back to where I thought I had seen it, but the shape was gone.
“Whatever has happened?” I thought.
I looked around and saw a pile of small black pebbles which appeared to be covered in small white spots. I picked one up and that’s when I noticed they weren’t spots. They were eyes.
I was walking into my house when I put my bag down then I saw a blue glowing hat on the table.
” Mum why is there a hat on the table.” I asked
But she didn’t reply. why was the hat on the table. I wanted to go look for her but the hat I still didn’t know why it was there so I put it on. My house was big so it would take a while for me to find her but everywhere I went it felt like I was walking forever. I looked in every room but i still couldn’t find her then someone tapped me on the back. it was my mum she was outside all this time and the hat was my dads.
I zoomed on my scooter down to the school I was very late I checked my watch I need to get to school , I speed up then a dog ran out in front of me and i swerved off the path into a big transparent rose bush. I don’t know where i am or where this is but i cant stop thinking about how to get to school. I rush to get through the the giant bush at the end I see a big blue rose i excitedly rush over to take a look . I get closer
“Ouch” I said
I pricked myself , then i’m at school. I was day dreaming.
I think plastic bags should be banned and ill show you why you should believe me.
Plastic bags kill lots of wildlife such as birds, whales, seals and turtles because they think it’s food, turtles think they are jellyfish and eat them and they choke and die. Also people don’t dispose of them properly. they fly out into the ocean and the animals eat them.
Lots of shops still use plastic bags about 70% of shops still do, and only 30% of shop don’t. What they do is they make you bring reusable bags that you use them over and over again so it doesn’t damage the environment.
When you litter,rubbish like plastic bags pollutes rivers and lakes so fish and animals can’t live or drink the water and may eat the bags and rubbish.
Plastic bags disrupt the environment because they work there way into the soil and slowly release toxic chemicals, then it gradually break down in the soil and it is not good for the plants or us.
That Is why we need to ban plastic bags so you don’t do any of this to the environment
I always get cross at my brother because he always yells at me and gets angry at me for no reason, he makes me frustrated angry and tired at the end of the day because He wont leave me alone!
I normally just forget about it if its a small thing but if its not i get so cross that I will start doing it too. Once I was so cross that I was in a bad mood for the whole day and sometimes I got so angry I wouldn’t get over small things but near the end of the day I would calm down.
I was looking at the reflection of my red umbrella in the puddles in the pavement as I walked to meet up with my old friend Olivia. My mum liked them but I didn’t. As my mum rung the doorbell she glared at me with a displeased expression as we walked in. When we sat down down I saw a well in the yard so I slipped outside to have a look. I felt the coins in my pocket as I pulled one out I climbed up a ladder to get up to it, then I tossed a coin in it sunk to the bottom never to be seen.
In the streets a teddy bear was lying in a cold damp puddle. He was scared and lonely, his only friend had dropped him. When the streets where quiet he stood up he wobbled until he got his balance and marched around to find his friend. All the houses looked identical, but he briefly remembered the blue door from his house, he twisted and turned as he kept an eye out for a blue door.He could see a small light in the corner he swiftly moved towards it. It was his house! He was so happy to see his friend.
In the streets a teddy bear was lying in a cold damp puddle. He was scared and lonely, his only friend had dropped him. When the streets where quiet he stood up he wobbled until he got his balance and marched around to find his friend. All the houses looked identical, but he briefly remembered the blue door from his house,he wobbled up the streets keeping an eye out for a blue door, he could see a small light in the corner he turned to it he wobbled over it was his house he was so happy to see his friend.